So it's only Tuesday and it's been a rough week! First of all I have a very sweet little boy who is teething HARD. He successfully and with some, but little anguish, has gotten two teeth in. Now the poor little guy is cutting some on top and his gums are so swollen! We do what we can to comfort him but he really just wants to be cuddled, which I might add, are the best cuddles around. This and the constant whine, if your a mom you know the one, makes it quite difficult to get much or anything done. I'm having to skip house work, Scheduling meals based on which is quieter to make, and doing my school work at the last minute. Sleep, the thing I miss the most, has become even more scarce lately. But I keep reminding myself while getting up every other hour during the night that the alternative is to sorrowful to think of. I'd rather never sleep again than to never hear my sweet child's voice or to never look into his breath-taking baby blues.
Then, my car dies first thing in the morning while Ryan is driving to work. Apparantly the computer died and will take several hundred dollars to replace. I wish they would have figured that out before I paid a few hundred to have it re-wired that last time it was having electrical problems. Anyways, I'm thankful it wasn't anything worse than that.
Next, our usual Tuesday baby sitter is recovering from the flu so Ryan and I spend all day looking for someone else. I finally find someone at the last minute after stressing all day! This always happens, I stress and worry and it always works out. Think of all the time I waste with those feelings. From now on I'm going to do my very best to NOT worry.
Then, my brother came to pick me up from work so Ryan wouldn't have to get Elijah woken up and put in the car. I get in and his van doesn't start!! We try to get it started for a few minutes and the dashboard lights are flickering on and off and it starts making weird clicking noises like it's demon possesed. HAHA. We have my manager jump it but nothing happens. Finally we give up on the jumping and decide to push it into a stall and leave it until morning. I call Ryan and he has to get poor sleeping Elijah out of his bed and come get us. Josh jokingly says to me "it's not starting because you don't believe in it. I believe in it." He turns the key and to our astonishment it starts!!! and it starts just as Ryan is pulling in!
Finally, this morning, after getting hardly any sleep, I drag myself out of bed, get Elijah and myself ready, put him in the carseat and start heading out the door to take him to the last minute sitter so I can go to class. I realize that I had left my purse in my brother's van last night with my keys in it. Sooo I have to miss class anyways! But despite this being upsetting, I am ok with it, I didn't freak, and it's going to be a good day anyways. Part of the reason is something my brother said yesterday when we were sitting in the van.
We were laughing and joking around like we always do and he said something to the effect of "the devil is kicking me right now, do you ever have that feeling?" I thought to myself ya I've had that feeling all day. He was right, sometimes God tests us and that's when satan moves in and tries to get control. I realized that was all this was, all these unfortunate events were just a test and THANK GOD that it wasn't anything worse. God used this time to teach me something. It's so silly to worry when you have God looking after you. He gave up his ONLY son who DIED a horrible, painful death for ALL OF US. If he can handle that then duh he can lift our tiny worries and struggles off of our shoulders. The same God who created life in us can certainly be trusted with the details of our life.
Matthew 6:25-34
I didn't get to go to class this morning but I definately learned something.
love,
Jessica
